The Virtue of Being Old
I recently had a conversation with a friend who doesn’t like to use the word “old” because she considers it too judgmental. She said that you should never go around judging others on their age, since it’s possible some people are too young to have an opinion. I have a few very young friends who just look at me like I’m crazy when I mention that I’m getting ready to have children.
I recently had a conversation with a friend who doesn’t like to use the word “old” because she considers it too judgmental. She uses the word “virgin” instead. That’s because she doesn’t like anyone who is much older than her to have a higher opinion of her.
So I asked her why. She said that you should never go around judging others on their age, since it’s possible some people are too young to have an opinion. That might be true, but most of the time people are “too young” to judge anyone anyway.
Look at all the people in the world who are aging or who are sexually active. Some of them have not been “too young” to get it on yet. What do they know? They are old!
But you know what? I have a few very young friends who just look at me like I’m crazy when I mention that I’m getting ready to have children. As a matter of fact, they think I’m nuts. It’s amazing how young we must feel when we have been sexually active for a very long time!
Right? I know that when I used to feel young and virginal, I had a certain amount of sexual experience. That fact makes me feel old and I cannot help it!
I suppose I could sit here and tell you that when you feel young and inexperienced, you need to protect yourself from the snobs out there. Because of my youth, I cannot relate to your frustrations. Of course I can understand the fact that if you’ve been sexually active for years, you’re probably making a big deal about having children.
But at least let’s have a mature conversation about it and never judge anyone else for thinking it. Especially if they are perfectly capable of being sexual and married! I have been married for a very long time now and I cannot remember when I felt younger!
I suspect most old people who care so much about being judged still want to be seen as being old. But let’s face it, as an adult you don’t want to be looked upon as being of child-bearing age any more than you want to be looked upon as being too young to touch the stove. And for those who can’t touch the stove, you know, make coffee, dinner, etc., well, you know you’ve reached the age when you can no longer reach the stove!
Judgment, in my opinion, is such a waste of time. You never know if it will be directed at you or at your child. Isn’t that what you want?
Judgment is a luxury. Having the courage to accept the reality of the situation is the only way to go. After all, if you don’t then you might have a baby, but you won’t be able to experience the pleasures of a child’s life.
Remember, you can’t turn back the clock, even if you want to. When your kids are mature adults, they’ll know better.
Don’t ever consider being judgmental over the fact that someone is sexually active. You’ll be glad you didn’t when you come to realize that while there is nothing wrong with being sexually active, it’s also not a good idea to force yourself into that type of lifestyle.
